Last March, I was asked to take on more responsibilities aside from teaching. Two senior high English classes and the Student Activities Program were to be my responsibilities.
Two months later–and a week before classes were to start–they took away my teaching load. I wasn’t sure if I should have been happy about that or disappointed that I won’t be in the classroom anymore.
I’m not sure how much I can divulge here, but let me just say now that I think I should have just stuck with teaching. I miss the interaction with students, the banter, the teaching, the learning. What I face now are forms, forms, and more forms.
On the other hand, I also relish in this new responsibility of providing the students an opportunity to explore interests outside the academe. The committee work and club work and even scouting (*sigh*) allow me to see students in a different light, and I’m grateful for this. I also love the fact that I don’t have to take home papers to check anymore.
But now I ask myself: what is it that makes me happy nowadays? I’m not as happy in the classroom, I loathe checking and–to a degree–scouting (love the kids, though), and filling out countless forms gives me migraines and has gotten me sick within the second month in this job (full time).
I’m dangerously close to quitting. I don’t want to, but I feel like I need to.