call me stupid but until now, it has never really sunk in that people absolutely ABHORRED writing and will continue to do so until their deaths, timely or otherwise. i think i just never really accepted the fact that there will always be hopeless cases out there in the world that i can’t infect with my love for the written word. 😀

i have the film appreciation group to thank for that. never had so many blank looks stared up at me in a lifetime. in class, at least, the boys knew it was an activity and they had to do it. here it was just: wth?

i think it was the free-writing activity that delivered the final blow. how difficult was it to understand that in free-writing, you’re abso-bloody-lutely free to write ANYTHING? well, in this case, they had to write ANYTHING related to a movie of their choice. to quote my roommate, le sigh, le sigh. there were still some people who didn’t write ANYTHING. and the rest who were able to write down something? they wrote a measly two lines. some even a single short line.

it occurred to me at that moment when i asked them what they were able to write that the impression i had of free-writing as one of the easiest writing activities was a load of crap. not many people are able to articulate their thoughts and ideas into words as well as writers, but i believed that since we all spoke at least ONE language, people would be able to come up with even the simplest words to describe what they were thinking. i mean, how hard could it be to say that scary movie 4 sucked? or that it was good, if that’s what people think? hoboy… was i wrong. i stood there on 3-inch stilhettos with that realization hitting me like the WTC crashing down on me.

it rattled me. i lost my focus and i goofed up on the remaining parts of my lecture, which was supposed to be only for 10 minutes. imagine me right now with my hands held up in front of me, screaming AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

did i mention how absolutely draining that session was? i admire the moderator for still standing after handling that club for about two months now. i had to kick and scream and shout and joke just to get their attention. and when i did manage to make them answer my questions or respond in any way to me, it was in unison to a statement i made about the reason they joined the club.

how in the world do people do it? how do they manage to encourage people to write without dropping dead in the middle of their attempts?

in hindsight, i think thegroup feared that if they wrote anything obscene in their papers, we’d reprimand them for using foul language. i don’t blame them. we are, after all, in a place where we learn to be model citizens. obscenities really have no place in an institution like this, especially this being a Catholic one.

i have to try harder. i can’t just always think that if people do something because we force them to do it, they’ll eventually become better at it and come to like it. or maybe just appreciate it. i don’t know. maybe they will come to appreciate it when they’re older and wiser, but i suppose it’s just frustrating to not see results at once.

the reply that my favorite teacher gave about writing is that it takes a long time to actually be a good writer, and that’s if you WANT to be a good writer. i suppose it’ll take twice or even thrice as long if you hate it. i don’t know how long appreciation for writing will kick in, but everytime i check my boys’ writing activities, everytime i meet my classes, i pray that they’ll hate writing less and less. they don’t have to love it; i just want them to NOT hate it.

is that too much to ask?

maybe. *sigh*


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