What do you do when you find yourself in your bed late at night unable to sleep?
I sometimes think: do other people think about their past, or do they fantasize about the future? I find myself doing both almost every night even when I’m tired and could fall asleep easily. In those few seconds between my head hitting my pillow and glorious slumber, I think about embarrassing stuff and segue into what I should have done and what I would most likely do given a similar situation in the future. More often than not I recall just this one event in my life–that one event that made me realize I was both more scared and stronger than I knew myself to be. And it constantly works its way into my consciousness and forces me to think of what I should and would do if that opportunity arose again. Hundreds of scenarios have played in my mind, but none I believe are very realistic.
What do I do now?