Life and Death (NaBloPoMo: Mnemonics)

Prompt: Cicero said: “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” Tell us about who you are remembering today.

I’m not remembering anyone specifically, but since it appears that I am forced to remember someone, I find my thoughts turning towards my paternal grandparents, whom I’ve both been able to spend time with during their lives. My maternal grandparents, on the other hand, both died before I had been born.

My lolo and lola both live in the province, a good one-hour plane ride plus 4-hour total bus ride from our home. A lot of planning goes into visiting each other. I’ve only been in their place a handful of times in the past, and therefore I was not really able to build a close bond with them. At first I thought that it was okay because–and I’m realizing this now only–I liked not having to entertain anybody (me being a shy person and all). Then when I got to college, I met all these people who were as close to their grandparents as they were to their parents, sometimes even closer. I felt both twinges of regret and continued indifference at my relationship status with my grandparents.

Nothing changed, though. Communication lines weren’t firmly established between us. My parents would call them up, yes, but for me to initiate it just wasn’t something I really felt like doing. What I had thought and believed was we never have anything to talk about anyway. Take birthday greeting phone calls. Our parents would practically shove the receiver down our throats so we could greet them or our relatives. It is ALWAYS awkward and always uncomfortable.

Given all that, it doesn’t excuse my behavior. It is simply rude, isn’t it?

But what can I do now? Both sets of grandparents are gone. All I remember of my paternal grandmother is that she had diabetes and she had difficulty walking but when we were younger, she’d go out with us to the malls. What I remember of my paternal grandfather is that he raised and bred (if I’m not mistaken) fighter cocks and sold them (small success there). My dad got the corny humor from him. 🙂 I remember him doing those cheap street magic tricks, and I remember being entranced as a kid. 😀

And now I shall stop because I’m beginning to tear up.

Wherever my grandparents are, I hope they forgive me and that they are happy. 🙂

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