Hugot Monday

Hugot in English means “to pull out.”

We have this saying here, “May pinanghuhugutan,” which means that the person is making some comment (usually bitter) because s/he is “pulling” the emotion from previous experience.

Local teens have taken to shortening that phrase to a hashtag: #hugot.

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Today, a close family friend called this day as Hugot Monday on Twitter, and my first reaction was, “LISTEN TO INDAK (UP DHARMA DOWN) WHEN YOU’RE DONE WATCHING (SANA DATI)!!! OKAY? OKAY? OKAY?!” and my second reaction was, “Good lord, he was right. Today IS #hugotmonday.”

I’m sure he had his own reasons for considering today as such, but in my case, my conversation with my best buds (among them this WAHM) has left me evaluating my personal choices. The WORST thing about this introspection was the timing. I was right in the middle of finishing some very important documents when my phone lights up, the LED indicator flashing green, which meant I had a message in either Line or FB Messenger. Since I swore off the latter for the week, I knew it had to be my college buds. My hands automatically reached for my phone and opened the app.

I had expected conversation to be about the daily grind, which I can usually skip till the end of the workday, but lo and behold one of their first questions was about ME.

Truth be told I got excited and nervous. The spotlight was both something I craved and feared. I loved the spotlight if I were in charge of my audience, but I feared it if it put me either in a negative situation or an unknown one. In this case, I had no control over my audience–my friends, because, let’s face it, your friends control YOU–and though I knew what they were asking me about (marginally work-related, if you must know), it wasn’t exactly a situation I particularly liked.

They prodded and teased and gave advice and nagged and prodded and teased some more and then just basically told me to let go and just go with the flow. I see the sense and the wisdom in what they said, but…

Why is advice so much easier to dish out than take?

My head (both sides with each other) and my heart are warring, my teacher and writer sides are warring, the angel and the devil on my shoulders whispering encouragement and temptations, my hands and feet cold from the anxiety over this.

I am disturbed. This is all new to me, and I guess this is why I’m bothered so much.

So…………

I’ll just go back to finishing my work.

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