Stuck

Since midnight has passed and it is technically a new day, I will have to say “yesterday” when I refer to the wedding I just came home from.

The striking thing about this wedding is that I shed no tears. As a huge crybaby, this is the first and biggest thing that hit me. I try to think about why, and the only thing I can come up with is that the whole affair was too uppity formal that my tears felt ashamed to show themselves. The reason doesn’t even make sense, so basically I don’t know why I didn’t cry.

Ail was gor-jee-yus yesterday. She always is even when her hair’s all messed up from dealing with her young students, but today she was radiant. I get it now. When some of my other friends got married, I never got the chance to LOOK closely at them. Sure, they looked happy, but I suppose I was too busy doing something else (I was assigned to this and that, etc) or I was seated too far from the couple to pay attention how they were.

Today, though, because I was just two tables away from the couple and there was a live feed of the couple and their reactions, I saw how Ail just radiated with joy.

(Pusang hilaw na cliché na ito ha, pero totoo kasi)

Congratulations and best wishes to the newlyweds, Nico and Ail! 🙂

I didn’t think about it then, but I’m thinking about it now:

When was the last time that I radiated with joy? When will I radiate with joy? And I don’t mean because I’m getting married. I mean to radiate absolute joy and to have it evident in your face and actions and words and you feel nothing but lightness.

When?

Also, WHY?

This is for a different entry.

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