Whoa Intense

I spent the better part of the night at a friend’s house with a bunch other people for a night of destressing. We ordered in, popped in an imaginary DVD, and watched John Lloyd woo Toni Gonzaga in My Amnesia Girl. After the movie, the rants started. One of the rants hit close to home.

A friend ranted that she had been labeled as “intense,” and that she didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. I was saddened by her declaration. I, too, had been called intense before, but I had heard a different word for it–PASSIONATE–at some times. To me these words were synonymous with each other, and therefore I took them as compliments, but here was a person saying that she rejects her label of “intense person.”

The discouragement I felt when she said, “Ayoko na!” (literally, “I don’t want anymore!“) went straight to the heart, and I felt horrible for her. Here was a person who was doing amazing things, but she was being shut down because people brush off her comments and suggestions and observations as just part of her intensity. They’ve stopped taking her seriously, and at one point said flat out that she was going to cause World War 3. While it DID occur to me that this latter statement could have been made jokingly, it doesn’t change the fact that people hadn’t been responsive to her concerns, which, I believe, are legitimately valid points.

I don’t understand how people can just brush aside these kinds of people. These INTENSE people are the ones who make things happen, but when you’re surrounded by people who seemingly don’t care, what hope do we have of affecting positive changes?

I’m too tired and too angry on her behalf to spill any more details, but suffice it to say that… I can’t even find the words to express how infuriating this is.

If my friend–the intense and passionate one–gets brushed off, what are the chances that we can see positive change happen immediately if the people who notice all the bad things and are willing to do something about it are just ignored?


3 thoughts on “Whoa Intense

  1. Everyone’s different. Some people are more or less influenceable. Where one person reacts, another person minimizes. And as hurtful and stymied as your friend felt because of all of the people around her who labeled her as “intense”… there are people who feel overwhelmed by those who feel much more strongly about this or that. For those folks who are not as easily affected by things (even… about very serious issues) and who need to downplay or distance themselves from people who get worked up and excited about things more easily than they. It’s a form of defense.

    I’m glad you were there for your friend so that she had somebody who could listen to and understand her frustrations and pain. She will need people like you to validate her emotions. (Most of us need people like that in our lives.)


  2. Thanks, @timinycricket.

    I got upset also for her because she was the one suggesting a lot of good ideas and calling people out (sort of) on their nonperformance and doing their work, and then SHE’S the one being put in a bad light.

    I agree, though. Everyone’s different. I just don’t understand why people don’t see that her being different is not a bad thing. 😦

    Thanks again for dropping by. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Best Blogs 20 Mars 2015 | ChristopherinHR

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