Alone

A

It’s almost three months now since he broke up with me, and still I feel more alone than when I DIDN’T have him in my life. It was the worst few months because we worked in the same place, and it felt like when he left, he took with him all my friends. He hung out with them more than I did.

To a certain degree I kind of let him since I knew he had already resigned and was just waiting out the end of his contract. What killed me, though, was that he was fine, that from his EVERYTHING I had become NOTHING, that I was not worthy of that kind of affection.

I said goodbye to him on the last day of work because I figured I didn’t want him to think I still hated him or was still mad. Those feelings had abated, and I was just mostly sad, but it still hurt to see that he didn’t care or that he now trembled at the sight of me because I had made him nervous.

Well.

Life happens. Life is happening. Life will continue to happen. All the good and bad stuff.

And all we… I can do is deal.

Time to put on a smile. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Alone

  1. Ouch Reeyah … I hope you’re on the mend – I read somewhere that ‘only a broken heart is whole’ – at first I read the last word as heal, but I see you wrote ‘deal’ .. well, I’m hoping for you – healing 🙂

    Like

  2. Hugs, my friend…loving and having to lose that love is one of the most painful things we have to go through…It hurts so much because there are some things you just can’t do anything about – core values, family, temperament…and you realize that no matter how much you want to overcome them, sometimes love just isn’t enough. Love is easy. Commitment is hard. Forever may be impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

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