Last March, I was asked to take on more responsibilities aside from teaching. Two senior high English classes and the Student Activities Program were to be my responsibilities.
Two months later–and a week before classes were to start–they took away my teaching load. I wasn’t sure if I should have been happy about that or disappointed that I won’t be in the classroom anymore.
I’m not sure how much I can divulge here, but let me just say now that I think I should have just stuck with teaching. I miss the interaction with students, the banter, the teaching, the learning. What I face now are forms, forms, and more forms.
On the other hand, I also relish in this new responsibility of providing the students an opportunity to explore interests outside the academe. The committee work and club work and even scouting (*sigh*) allow me to see students in a different light, and I’m grateful for this. I also love the fact that I don’t have to take home papers to check anymore.
But now I ask myself: what is it that makes me happy nowadays? I’m not as happy in the classroom, I loathe checking and–to a degree–scouting (love the kids, though), and filling out countless forms gives me migraines and has gotten me sick within the second month in this job (full time).
I’m dangerously close to quitting. I don’t want to, but I feel like I need to.
I am crashed on the couch and watching Man vs Food. Thisnis a bad idea because I am now craving for FOOD.
What are you craving for now?
For some reason, the first thing that came to mind was Klytemnestra, wife of Agamemnon, but since I know little about her, I won’t say much of her here.
The second thing that came to mind is the shortened version of okay. People have been asking me how I was more often than usual and it’s become annoyingly repetitive that I’ve taken to answering, “K lang” (literally means “just okay” but semantically means “I’m okay“).
The third thing that came to mind was my friend’s last name which began with this letter. She was the only one who really probed and demanded a proper answer abojt how I was and how I was feeling. I’m glad she’s back from her vacation.
The fourth thing I thought about was potassium and how this became a meme when people began to use K as the answer to text messages. People who would receive this answer thought it was such a waste to just answer one letter that they would reply with the element this letter represented. Confusion, hilarity, and online memes had abounded because of this.
The last thing that came to mind was that I really had nothing related to the letter K that I could talk about.
I already had a long ass post ready for publishing but this stupid phone app deleted it.
My point basically was that even though I was only technically educated for four years in a Jesuit-run university, it feels lile my enyire life was formed by the Jesuits.
My pre-school, grade school, and high school years were in a school run by nuns whose founding mother was heavily influenced by Jesuit founder St. Ignatius of Loyola. Even our school name, Manresa School, came from St. Ignatius’s life. It was where he came up with his famous and helpful Spiritual Exercises.
Post-college I started working in Xavier School which was also Jesuit-run, and here came a more “formal”and more “official” introduction to Jesuit teachings and ideals. The teachings came in dogma and practice, and I honestly believe that despite the Jesuit order’s conservativism, they are the most open and respectful of all the priestly orders.
I’ve never been disppointed by a Jesuit’s homily–except maybe by the delivery–but otherwise the content is always so relevant, easy to digest, and rooted in the Catholic Church’s teachings.
In this Holy Week, I remember the Jesuits and how they keep me coming back to Christ whenever I have doubts. No other person–not even my parents nor our ridiculous parish priests–could do that.
I don’t know why I didn’t do this for letter G, but there’s always room for gratitude any day of the year.
So today, and the past week since I’ve been back from the beach, I am grateful for the following:
- finally getting my driver’s license (still nervous about the expressway though :/)
- my gorgeous tan hallelujah. I usually end up burnt to a crisp or not dark at all but this time my tan is JUST RIGHT. Sad news is that it’s quickly fading from my face because I’ve been indoors most days recently
- tomorrow’s overnight trip to hot springs hot spot Pansol. Not actually sure if the place we’re renting is a regular pool or hot spring pool, but it’s still an opportunity to work on my tan.
- Vacation. I haven’t had a decent vacation in years which has resulted in my skin turning a pasty pale brown instead of the beautiful morena shade I should have and want to have. But more than my skin color, I’m absolutely grateful for the opportunity to rest and recharge. This year so far has been unbearably difficult, so this short time away from work is blessing.
- Netflix. I’ve been binge-watching Riverdale, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, and Gilmore Girls, and all for free thanks to the free first month. Not sure I’ll retain the subscriotiin, though, since Netflix PH is horrible.
- Viu. This is the Kdrama equivalent of Netflix except they don’t charge ANYTHING. 🙂 Just finished She Was Pretty and Love in the Moonlight.
- My brother gave me spending money since I used most of this month’s salary on car payments (among others) already. Hooray for siblings!
- Ice cream and Ice.in this sweltering summer heat, not even the Laguna winds is enough to keep us cool. Thank goodness for these two.
- Water. There’s this TVC being aired about how much water you waste if you leave the tap on while you brush your teeth. I grew up in a house with no running water. Well, technically we had it, but t had to be delivered to us. The water guys would come with a truck of water that they’d transfer to our backyard tank which is the source of our running water. The downside is that for some reason, the water wouldn’t go into our toilet, so we had to “manually” flush it. We had to learn to save our water by putting a small container under our heads to catvh the water when we’d rinse our hair and we’d use that to flush the toilet bowl. We brushed our teeth with a cup and we had to use that amount of water when we brushed our teeth. We had a bunch more water-saving practices that we followed daily, so I thought it was pretty normal until we moved to Laguna when I was a teenager. But until now we still try to save as much water as we can. Even if we have a working shower, we still use the traditional tabo at balde when we bathe because we use less water that way. What I AM thankful for is that we have water. Even if we have to conserve and be mindful of our usage, we actually have ready access to running water. We have ice, filtered drinking water, a shower and toilet that work. We have water, and I am thankful for this every single day.
I’ve been on Netflix for all of four days and I’ve been marathoning different shows. Unfortunately, Netflix PH is useless and I’m limited to the Marvel shows, the Gilmore Girls, and a small selection of movies I’ve either watched or have absolutely no interest in.
In any case, the only reason I signed up for Netflix is for those aforementioned shows. I’ve watched Daredevil 1, Jessica Jones, and I’m supposed to watch Luke Cage, but his character sort of bored me in Jessica Jones so I skipped the series. I must admit, though, that I’m intrigued by his history.
Iron Fist caught my attention because the main character looks like Danny Masterson from That 70s Show, so I always expect him to crack a joke. So far, though, I like this more than the other Marvel shows.
Also, Claire Temple and Jeri Hogarth are the two best characters in the Netflix Marvel universe, imo.
Danny is annoying jeez.
How to be happy?
They say happiness is a choice. And because I am tired of feeling miserable, even though this feeling won’t go away, I will choose to be happy.
Finishing this marathon of Iron Fist haha 🙂