Chances

C

I woke up to bad news: I wasn’t accepted to the #ADE2017 program. It’s been the second time I was rejected by ADE and the second time I was rejected this year.

If that old saying was true, that bad things happen in threes, then I’ve got one more rejection coming this year, and I hope it’s not by the licensing office. *pray for me*


The major rejections this year coupled with the minor ones (both personal and work-related) have seriously put a dent on my already teeny tiny ego, and it’s hard to see, recognize, and acknowledge and and all chances or opportunities that come my way.

Everybody struggles to proceed with life, and so do I. It is hard, and more effort is needed to look for those silver linings. However, I do recognize that this is not the end of… whatever. Life is grand, and all I need to do is look up and see it.

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Of beaches and (good)byes

B

My first official beach trip in two years is this April’s trip to Baler, Aurora in Northern Philippines.

Baler is one of two main surfing havens in the north, the other one being in the west: La Union. The last time I went to Baler was more than three years ago, and it was then that I had my first surfing experience. I don’t have pics, unfortunately, but the memory will forever be embedded in my brain and my muscles, I think. 😀 The body pain I got from that surfing lesson had me immobile for a good few days.

This time, though, I stuck to sunbathing and facing the strong waves with my two new good friends while our other companion was off surfing. It was all very… chill, for lack of a better word.

This Baler trip, personally, was both an escape and a recharge of sorts. I am a beach person. Leave me on the beach with the sun and a good book, and I’ll be happy. I’m glad I had the opportunity to take this trip with three new friends who took me in when I had nobody these past few months. I sort of ruined it, though, with an argument that first night there, but that’s another story for another blog entry. In hindsight, though, the fact that they accepted and tolerated my presence was something I will forever be grateful for.

I will miss those three friends, all of whom have already resigned and are moving on to different career paths. The Baler beach trip was one final bid for bonding and a final opportunity for an extended goodbye.

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Jumping jacks

On top of yoga, I do THIS workout, and I hate it. The only reason I haven’t quit yet is because I don’t quit easily.

It’s called the seven-minute workoit and it’s literally just seven minutes long. Tne first one is the jumping jacks. For thr past few days I’ve cheated because I don’t do the jumping part; I just do the arm raising part. Today I did the jumps and because I did this after yoga (focus on warrior poses–strenuous for the legs), my legs were ready to kill me. I have no idea why I even decided to do it after so many warrior poses.

In hindsight, I’m glad I did it just because.

 

I cheated at jumping jacks

 

Gratitude list

  • Jumping jacks
  • Joy: I’m counting the days to my next period using an app I just downloaded, and one of the things it asks me to input as part of its cycle analysis is my mood for the day. I realized that I only pay attention to my mood when I’m PMS, which in my dictionary stands for PLENTY of MOOD SWINGS. The app reminded me to keep track also of my happy or joyful moments, and this has helped me be grateful for each day. I end up reflecting if I were happy or joyful by recalling my day, and the brief reflection allows me to find something good within my day.
  • Juice: I’m no fan of juice, but sometimes it’s a welcome break from ice cold water on a hot summer day.

Health

I’m a relatively healthy person with only a dust allergy and 120/120 vision to mar my otherwise perfect medical record. I’ve been sick, yes, but nothing chronic has plagued me…

…until now.

My tailbone has been bothering me since October. I was at another conference and all I did was SIT on school chairs from sun up to sun down. That’s when I noticed my tailbone started to hurt. The pain went away eventually, but I noticed it would hurt again when I’m seated for a long time. I looked it up online and found that it IS indeed caused by prolonged sitting on hard surfaces. It usually goes away on its own i. A few weeks or months, but now I’m worried because it’s five months after and I still feel a bit of pain.

According to Google, poor posture and weight loss contributes to this. I’m not exactly known for my good posture, so I’m struggling to correct that. My weight loss has not been significant either. I wasn’t even trying to lose weight. It just happened because I got the stomach bug at the end of January which kept me in bed (and running to the bathroom) for about two days. 

I’m back to yoga to build my core strength and my lower back, but I’m also mindful that I don’t lose any significant amount of weight to make sure the padding around my tailbone doesn’t thin out and make it hurt any more.

Gratitude list:

  • Hugs: I’m not one to welcome hugs from strangers, but hugs from the right people boost me up instantly. Last night I needed a hug badly and I got it. 😘
  • Health: Despite the tailbone pain, I’m still grateful that all my senses are working and that I can still stand up and walk and run and lie down and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air in my town.
  • Hope: I choose to hope for and act to bring about the good instead of complaining about the bad.

New everything

Everything is new for me right now.

Experiences.

Feelings

And even mistakes.

I take it one day at a time.

I’ll go crazy if I don’t.

A World at War, Seen from a Fancy TV

Life on the 11th Floor

As a teacher of privileged teenage boys, it’s hard to put into context the bombings and wars happening around the world. It’s unclear to me the boundaries that we have to follow in terms of their own households’ openness to discuss the issues that plague the atrocities that happened. How do we frame the context of humanity without talking about the religious and political context we are in?

Sometimes I don’t know if I should do what is akin to a splash of boiling water to their faces, and tell them: Wake up. The world is a mess. Do what you can for each other because that’s all you have left.

Then again, cynicism is bad for young adults so I try to put a positive spin on everything. It was difficult to write because I had to be hopeful and nice, which do not come naturally to me. Here…

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Giddy

a.k.a.

A Gratitude List

  • love
  • coffee
  • the expressway
  • honesty
  • freedom
  • time
  • love
  • “FINALLY!!!!”
  • screaming friends
  • love
  • FB messenger stickers
  • a bruised knee
  • love