Gluttony


It’s summer where I live now, and I’m on vacation, and I am literally doing nothing but eat, sleep, and marathon shows on Netflix and Viu (Korean shows). 

I feel like such a pig now because I keep looking for food every hour. Even my cousin has noticed my gluttonous behavior today. The only interruption to this was the two consecutive earthquakes that happened earlier this afternoon. No major damage was reported except for a few buildings where the epicenter was.

Strangely enough for me, instead of panicking about the earthquake, I just put away the food I was eating (bread, cheese, peanuy butter) and went back to watching Jessica Jones. And then a little over a hour later I was looking for food again.

This is not normal behavior for me. I’m guesing it’s just the effect of not having to worry about work or anything for the next two weeks, so I’m filling my time with gustatory escapades… to the kitchen. :/

Well, I for one am going to make the most of this chill time to recharge my mind, body, and heart. 🙂

Finally

Today was errands day and the day I start my life anew.

I finally got my driver’s license today. I’m not too keen on driving since traffic here is horrendous and I have to drive a manual car, but I do acknowledge that this is a GOOD thing. It is a chance for me to empower myself, to literally bring myself to places.

I also paid my friend who reserved a hotel room for us for a friend’s wedding in Southern Philippines two weeks from now. It’s a 2-hour plane ride plus land travel, so that’s about an entire morning’s journey. It’ll be the first time I’ll be flying solo to and from a destination, and even though it’s just within the country, the thought fills me with noth excitement and anxiety. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything on my own, and this trip will be a good opportunity to step out of my comfort zone.

This is also the first Friday in a ling time when I consciously chose to stick to the Lenten tradition of meat abstinence on Fridays. I haven’t been observing a lot of traditions these past years mainly because I didn’t see the point in them (still don’t, actually), but today it felt like I needed to make the sacrifice. And come to think of it, when I did choose the fish over the other scrumptious meats, there was no resentment in my heart. I’m hoping I get to continue this. Even though next week is already Holy Week, I hope I remember and choose to do this small sacrifice every year.

On a semi disgusting note, bird feces fell on me earlier as I was on my way home from getting my license. People say that if you get pooped on by a bird it’s good luck. I hope this is a sign of good things to come. 😊🙏🏼

Endings

E

2017, for me, is the year of endings.

My relationship ended abruptly.

My passion for my work has seen its end.

The school year has ended and, along with it, time with friends and colleagues who have chosen to leave.

My student permit for driving is about to expire in a few days, and I still don’t have my license (hoping to change that tomorrow, though).

My second shot at the ADE program ended.

My laptop is dying, and I can’t afford a new one any time soon.

2017 has basically been a crap year so far, and I have to consciously and regularly remind myself that EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

I look at this picture, and I remind myself that if I want to see the good left in this world and in this life, all I need to do is look up.

Dog

D

Let me start by saying that I am not an animal person. I appreciate them and will fight to protect their rights, but I prefer not having any pets. It’s kind of ironic, then, that we have a bird, tons of cats, and now a dog here with us. For a while we had a turtle. It was actually our next door neighbor’s that got swept into our backyard during one rainy afternoon.

Anyway. I used to be afraid of dogs because I got chased by a pack of them when I was a kid. This whole thing changed when my sister decided to become a veterinarian and took up VetMed for college. On her first year, she brought home a little pup which we eventually named Bono. He’s part Belgian Malinois and part… something else, but he’s definitely part of our family now.

Look at this happy li’l guy. 😀

(Photo from my sister)

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Chances

C

I woke up to bad news: I wasn’t accepted to the #ADE2017 program. It’s been the second time I was rejected by ADE and the second time I was rejected this year.

If that old saying was true, that bad things happen in threes, then I’ve got one more rejection coming this year, and I hope it’s not by the licensing office. *pray for me*


The major rejections this year coupled with the minor ones (both personal and work-related) have seriously put a dent on my already teeny tiny ego, and it’s hard to see, recognize, and acknowledge and and all chances or opportunities that come my way.

Everybody struggles to proceed with life, and so do I. It is hard, and more effort is needed to look for those silver linings. However, I do recognize that this is not the end of… whatever. Life is grand, and all I need to do is look up and see it.

Of beaches and (good)byes

B

My first official beach trip in two years is this April’s trip to Baler, Aurora in Northern Philippines.

Baler is one of two main surfing havens in the north, the other one being in the west: La Union. The last time I went to Baler was more than three years ago, and it was then that I had my first surfing experience. I don’t have pics, unfortunately, but the memory will forever be embedded in my brain and my muscles, I think. 😀 The body pain I got from that surfing lesson had me immobile for a good few days.

This time, though, I stuck to sunbathing and facing the strong waves with my two new good friends while our other companion was off surfing. It was all very… chill, for lack of a better word.

This Baler trip, personally, was both an escape and a recharge of sorts. I am a beach person. Leave me on the beach with the sun and a good book, and I’ll be happy. I’m glad I had the opportunity to take this trip with three new friends who took me in when I had nobody these past few months. I sort of ruined it, though, with an argument that first night there, but that’s another story for another blog entry. In hindsight, though, the fact that they accepted and tolerated my presence was something I will forever be grateful for.

I will miss those three friends, all of whom have already resigned and are moving on to different career paths. The Baler beach trip was one final bid for bonding and a final opportunity for an extended goodbye.

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Alone

A

It’s almost three months now since he broke up with me, and still I feel more alone than when I DIDN’T have him in my life. It was the worst few months because we worked in the same place, and it felt like when he left, he took with him all my friends. He hung out with them more than I did.

To a certain degree I kind of let him since I knew he had already resigned and was just waiting out the end of his contract. What killed me, though, was that he was fine, that from his EVERYTHING I had become NOTHING, that I was not worthy of that kind of affection.

I said goodbye to him on the last day of work because I figured I didn’t want him to think I still hated him or was still mad. Those feelings had abated, and I was just mostly sad, but it still hurt to see that he didn’t care or that he now trembled at the sight of me because I had made him nervous.

Well.

Life happens. Life is happening. Life will continue to happen. All the good and bad stuff.

And all we… I can do is deal.

Time to put on a smile. 🙂