Kingsman (2015)

[unedited and unproofread]

If there ever was a movie for which the adjective “mind-blowing” would be appropriate, then this would be it.

Kingsman: The Secret Service tells the story of Eggsy Unwin (Taron Egerton) who gets recruited by super secret spy Harry Hart/Gallahad (Colin Firth).

The film plays on the traditional/old-fashioned spy movies and refers to those frequently. You have your megalomaniac who seeks to change the world through “questionable” means, the gentleman super spy who can kick ass in a bespoke suit, and the young recruit looking to prove himself.

Pretty straightforward and simple, right?

The shocker for me was not in the fact that Colin Firth–the quintessential, gentleman, the man whom other men have to live up to no thanks to his Mr. Darcy role–could plausibly disarm and bring down an entire congregation of people. The shocker for me was the violence.

The local R-16 was lenient, in my opinion. But then again my judgment could be tainted by my teacher ways, so let me rephrase that.

Kingsman takes the word “secret” to a while new level. It had disguised itself as a thoroughly proper and respectable and sort of generic spy movie with the added twist of the secret agency literally being super secret that not even the world’s most popular secret service agencies knew about their existence. They were like the Illuminati except that they were the good guys. The lack of dark overtones in the film processing* and the very few but appropriately placed humorous moments gave one the impression that THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE HORRIFIED ABOUT.

BUT.

(I’m sorry. The font size was necessary for this.)

I

WAS

HORRIFIED.

In a good way.

I’m not quite sure how “horrified in a good way” works, so let me just ramble a bit.

You know how the James Bond movies or other super spy movies always look gritty on screen or have these dark gray or blue color overlay (someone with film tech know-how help me quick!) to emphasize the dankness and the seriousness of the film? WELL, Kingsman was all oranges and yellows and blues and greens and purples. It was colorful. It was bright. It was clean. It was so neat you’d be afraid of eating flavored popcorn for fear of soiling your fingers.

PLUS Colin Firth was such a perfect and poised gentleman that when he finally brought out the moves your mouth just drops and you find yourself leaning forward in your seat while cringing or cowering or all of the above.

Mind-blowing? Definitely. LITERALLY, even.

Secretive? You bet. Who the hell knew Mr. Darcy could move like that? Who the hell knew he could disarm, dismember, behead, maim, kill people with the speed and agility of a champion martial artist and the poise of an aristocrat?

Who knew Samuel L. Jackson could be more annoying than ever? (personal bias, sorry. Not a big fan of the dude)

Who knew a more violent mainstream movie than Kill Bill could exist?

This movie isn’t all about the shock factor, though.

Once you get past the blood and gore and the impeccably tailored suits, you realize that movie makes some pretty compelling points.

One: we humans are the disease killing our planet. What happens when the body gets infected by a virus? The body gets feverish in an attempt to get rid of the virus. Bottomline? The virus dies. Mother Nature is the body, global warming is the fever, and we are the virus. WE die.

Some people might think this is just trivial in an action movie, but, for me, the analogy makes so much sense that it’s hard to ignore. I’m not going to wait for a Richmond Valentine to come and help Mother Nature along. None of us should.

Two: Women. I was going to say that women play a huge role in this film until I realized that there were only two major female characters here, and even then they were only in supporting roles. Roxy and Gazelle were pretty badass, but they still play second-fiddle to the men. Although the movie shows that women are just as competent (MORE, even) as men, the movie also shows that they still need to be tempered by the men. Roxy needed Eggsy to calm her down before the skydiving exercise. Gazelle was too bloodthirsty that she needed Valentine’s weak stomach to rein her in from shedding more blood. I’d personally like to see a movie where both hero and villain are female, and I’d like for this to be a serious movie and not a comedy like what we usually have here locally (Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah comes to mind even though technically the protagonist is a guy).

Three: Times are a-changing. Gadgets, particularly our smartphones, can be mankind’s downfall.

There really is so much about this movie that one can say. Colin Firth was perfect. Whatever doubt I had that he could move like a lean mean killing machine flew out the window when I saw his action sequences. Taron Egerton was just as amazing. I’d have wanted to see him do more parkour, though. Roxy was underdeveloped. I wish we had seen more of her spy abilities. Gazelle was just absolutely wicked.

Watch it.

Watch IT.

WATCH IT.

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*I’m not a film expert, so I don’t know the terminology.

In The Pressure Cooker

One of my best friends from college got married yesterday, and talk about who’s gonna walk down the aisle next resurfaced. As it stands, there are only two of us girls in the group who are single and with seemingly no hopes of getting hitched soon. We’re being pressured to get married within the next 3-4 years so that our friends’ kids can become ring bearers and flower girls in our weddings.

Tough luck, I wanted to tell them.

It’s an old topic, honestly, being single. I joke with fellow singletons about the woes of it, exchange dating horror stories, or sigh collectively and wistfully about the futility of having our personal Mr. Darcys. In my circle of friends, I’ve become the one most closely associated with Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice that it’s the bridesmaid gift to me. I got the DVD of the Colin Firth version, and while I was ecstatic at that moment, in hindsight I realize it’s true that men have been ruined for me because of Darcy. I’ve been told of how high my standards have been, and the universe has told me in more ways than one that I should lower my standards to get a guy, but all I can say to the universe is HELL NO.

Being single is both a blessing and a curse. Well, more like an annoyance than a curse at times.

At the moment, I am enjoying my independence as I try to fix my life. The expressed pressure from my friends (unspoken from my mom) is making things a bit tough for me because I have this tendency to go against what other people want or expect from me.

Isn’t life just peachy?

Okay, I’ll end the sarcasm. I did enjoy the wedding and the reception yesterday, and I am truly happy for my friend. 🙂

A-Z Challenge: Lizzie Bennet Diaries, The

I copped out on my original idea for L (literature) because I couldn’t find my Terry Eagleton notes on said topic (more like just stayed in bed to read more YA eep).

But my new topic deserves much attention as well, because since I’ve committed to writing about Persuasion for Day P, that means my second Austen fave Pride & Prejudice has no slot left. Until I thought of this.

Enter Lizzie Bennet and her online video diaries.

Lizzie Bennet (played by Ashley Clements)

If you’re familiar with Jane Austen’s popular classic, Pride & Prejudice, then the story of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries will not be new to you. But for the uninformed, the novel is about Elizabeth Bennet, otherwise known as Lizzie, who is the second child among the 5 children of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. The eldest, Jane, is the beauty of the family; Lizzie is the smart and witty one; Mary is the nerd and the weirdo; Kitty and Lydia are the energetic and flirty youngest sisters. (If you have a problem with my oversimplification of descriptions, I have nothing to say to you.) Their mom could think of nothing else but to marry off all 5 of her children, which drives Lizzie nuts because she won’t marry anybody if she doesn’t love him. Their family crosses paths with Charles Bingley, a rich boy from the city, who rents a nearby mansion in which he stays with his guests, which includes his sister Caroline, and his BFF, Fitzwilliam Darcy. The mom goes gaga over trying to set up Bingley with her lovely Jane, and Lizzie’s all snark and witty retorts especially at Bingley’s snobby friend Darcy. It’s a love story, basically–one that has women of all ages swooning over the dark Mr. Darcy.

In this modern adaptation, Lizzie is a snarky but smart grad student who’s using her video diaries as part of her thesis. The original story plays out in the video diaries, but none of the “oldies” (parents, Lady Catherine, etc.) show up. Only Lizzie’s peers make it to the videos eventually. The ones who don’t make it but were still important to the story make their appearance through what the protagonist calls “costume theater.”

Lizzie and bestie Charlotte play Mrs. and Mr. Bennet, respectively.

And yes, the producers (Hank Green and Bernie Su) take liberties with much of the elements of the story, including the characters of Charlotte Lucas (changed to Charlotte Lu in the adaptation) and Charles Bingley (changed to Bing Lee here). Other changes involve the modernization of some plot devices to fit the contemporary setting, but the changes all work, surprisingly. The essence of the story remains, and I guarantee that you’ll have an excellent time watching the videos. There are 100 videos, the last of which was uploaded only last March 29.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

There are spinoff videos that branch out from some parts of the story but are still tied to the main story arc. There are even Twitter accounts (the characters tweet and post pictures too!) that lend to the realism of the entire project. There are Q&A videos and a Tumblr account as well.

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Teacher Mode

The whole time I was watching the videos, I kept thinking: I could do this in class! What better way to test for comprehension but to have the students make their own modern adaptation of a story we’re taking up in class, right? For the students to be able to successfully do this, they’d have to make their own script, taking into consideration how the final output would look like given that some story elements would have to change because of modernization and the medium used.

I mean, I remember we (fellow English teachers) did this in our respective 6th grade classes for the lesson on story elements, but it was very controlled. For each group, we assigned a particular fairy tale, then made them change just one element. For example, one group was assigned Jack and the Beanstalk but their version had Jack as the antagonist instead of the protagonist. Another group, assigned the same story, had their story set in modern day China.

This is going to take a lot of planning and class periods given that on top of the lesson on story elements, we’d also have to discuss the story we’d use, what medium they’d like to use for their project, the writing process, and so on and so forth. Right now, all I can think of is:

Lost in Austen (2008)

Alex Kingston (ER, Lost in Austen) said it best. What woman hasn’t fantasized about meeting Mr. Darcy in the flesh after reading Pride and Prejudice?

ITV’s recent TV mini-series hit “Lost in Austen” had practically every Austen fan glued to their screens to see this girl live out their fantasies, even though this, too, was a fantasy.

Amanda Price is living pretty much a boring life in London, spiced up only by her trysts into her favorite Jane Austen novel, Pride and Prejudice. The night her boyfriend drunkenly proposes to her, she finds THE Elizabeth Bennett in her bathroom, amazed but nonetheless excited about her new discovery. The two, in a manner of speaking, agree on switching places to explore the “other” world. What ensues is just pure hilarity. That or absolutely cringe-worthy moments.

Like many people on the forums or blogs who have talked about this before me, this series is not to be taken seriously. The show is indeed very funny and highly entertaining and has wonderfully breathtaking scenery. The series manages to pay homage to England’s wonderful location spots, Austen’s fine witty writing, and the fantasies of women the world over. Jemima Rooper, who plays the out-of-place out-of-time Amanda Price, does very well in causing trouble and fixing it all up and causing some more. The ending is… well… something that purists would possibly hate, but, like I said, should not be taken seriously.

With that in mind, I have no doubt you’ll find this greatly enjoyable.

 
Memorable Scenes

Amanda makes Mr. Darcy do a Colin Firth-ian Darcy and has him come out of the water all wet.

“Badly done, Mr. Bingley. Badly done,” is a reference to another Austen story, Emma.

Amanda and Lizzie Bennett meet again in modern-day London, and Lizzie, with her new pixie haircut, lends her cell phone to Amanda, in old drab English garb. Amanda, stunned, quips, “Elizabeth Bennett is lending me her mobile.”

 

Things that annoyed me
Darcy looked like he was going to headbutt everybody’s heads off with his bow.

Jane was ugly, and she was supposed to be the prettiest of them all.

Lady Catherine was skinny and looked like an old hag. I had imagined her to be a large imposing woman. Judi Dench was better in that role.

Georgiana was a female dog WTH.

No mention of how Amanda got on without indoor plumbing. That should’ve been interesting. =))

The ending.
Things I liked

Wickham being USEFUL. haha.

Amanda landing one on hateful Mr. Collins.

The whole premise of the story.

lost in austen

 

i was blog-hopping out of boredom and found something that caused much excitement.

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for this next entry, i shall hyperventilate in excitement. excuse the teeny-bopper excitement please. much appreciated.

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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

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SOMETHING TO KEEP ME BUSY THIS SEMBREAK (aside from that proposal of course)

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THEEEEEEEEEEES WOOOOOOOHN!!! (megaphone it)

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Jemima Rooper stars as Amanda Price – the frustrated romantic who lives for reading and adores the characters in her Jane Austen books. Then one day she discovers a gateway in her flat and ends up being transported to her favourite world, the world of Pride and Prejudice. But is the “true” story in danger of being thrown off track by her presence?

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taken from http://pridenprejudice.proboards101.com/index.cgi?board=janeausten&action=display&thread=463

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alaveht alaveht alaveht!

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i can totally relate to amanda price hahahaah